I did get private feedback from my last post and I want to say thank you. All of you had valid concerns and supportive things to say: raising kids is stressful enough, why make it more difficult than it has to be, Down's Syndrome kids can be very charismatic and enjoyable, what about medical coverage? It was definitely helpful to hear what others had to say.
I am happy to say that Emmanuel and Moises (the 2 young brothers with the most medical concerns) are likely to go to another home. They are looking at another home with interest, I should say. I'm happy for them and happy to not feel obligated to take them (I know I shouldn't feel obligated to take anyone, that's another discussion).
We did get a little more info on Jasmine, Michael and Mary (Jasmine has Down's) and are still interested.
Like before, we still haven't heard more on Dario and Austin - we had heard more, which caused us to ask some specific questions to clarify previous behavior vs. current behavior.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
lifelong care?
I'm actually posting 2 days in a row, be sure you read the March 2nd post before this one.
The case workers for Kajon and Kajonae finally read our home study and both had the same immediate and strong response - they can't live with us. Their grandmother lives about 2 blocks away and there are some issues with her, so much so that it's important the kids don't live "around the corner." I guess I saw this coming (not the exact reason) so it's not as disappointing as it would've been if I hadn't already known there were so many people interested in them.
So here's my dilemma: there are some kids available that may need lifelong care, do we want to take that on? There are the 3 I mentioned a couple of posts ago, one with Down's Syndrome and there are 2 boys, also quite young with a list of both emotional and medical issues. One of the boys has microcephaly and Russell-Silver syndrome. I encourage you to look each of those up on your own. Microcephaly is characterized by a small head size, with it could come a wide array of complications, but think of the skull being smaller, therefore the brain being smaller and with a diminished capacity to function. Russell-Silver Syndrome is a form of dwarfish (their mother has dwarfism), though the most treatable. A good diet and growth hormones could put them back on track.
We expect whomever we adopt to have "issues," predominantly fetal alcohol, attachment disorder and often aggression. It is possible that they could be so extreme that they would not be able to live independently. Taking on a child that may need parenting beyond our lifespan is my biggest concern with taking on one of these kids. It's not the here and now, I think we can handle that, but what about as we age or upon our deaths? I guess that will be the reality for these kids no matter who adopts them...
Do any of you have any thoughts for me? Words of encouragement? A dose of reality?
The case workers for Kajon and Kajonae finally read our home study and both had the same immediate and strong response - they can't live with us. Their grandmother lives about 2 blocks away and there are some issues with her, so much so that it's important the kids don't live "around the corner." I guess I saw this coming (not the exact reason) so it's not as disappointing as it would've been if I hadn't already known there were so many people interested in them.
So here's my dilemma: there are some kids available that may need lifelong care, do we want to take that on? There are the 3 I mentioned a couple of posts ago, one with Down's Syndrome and there are 2 boys, also quite young with a list of both emotional and medical issues. One of the boys has microcephaly and Russell-Silver syndrome. I encourage you to look each of those up on your own. Microcephaly is characterized by a small head size, with it could come a wide array of complications, but think of the skull being smaller, therefore the brain being smaller and with a diminished capacity to function. Russell-Silver Syndrome is a form of dwarfish (their mother has dwarfism), though the most treatable. A good diet and growth hormones could put them back on track.
We expect whomever we adopt to have "issues," predominantly fetal alcohol, attachment disorder and often aggression. It is possible that they could be so extreme that they would not be able to live independently. Taking on a child that may need parenting beyond our lifespan is my biggest concern with taking on one of these kids. It's not the here and now, I think we can handle that, but what about as we age or upon our deaths? I guess that will be the reality for these kids no matter who adopts them...
Do any of you have any thoughts for me? Words of encouragement? A dose of reality?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
not much going on
Nothing much to tell you except that we don't have a whole lot going on right now. Here's the little bit that's new:
1. Kajon/Kajonae (think dijon mustard when you say their names). We are most interested in these 2, but it appears we are in a long line. As of last week when Suzanne checked, their worker hadn't read our home study yet, he had several to look at.
2. I had to reread my previous posts to know who I've mentioned. Last time I mentioned Dario and Austin, they are 10 and 11 and it took us a long time to find out more than the basic overview. So we got more info on them, but it was hard to sort through what behaviors they used to have vs. what behaviors and issues they have now after a couple years of therapy and in a stable setting. So we have a request for clarification. They did have some very serious issues, so where they are now and what is seen as potential is important here. They belong to a tribe and have a strong interest in their Native American heritage, one of them is learning Ojibwa.
3. Dario and Austin were one group of 10 and 11 year old brothers we were looking at, the other group, their adoptive parents weren't sure if they did or didn't want to continue with the planned adoption. It was decided that they are going to follow through with the adoption, so they are off the table.
4. There's another pair, Roscoe and Zipporah, that we requested more info on but we have very, very little on them right now to even know if they are an option.
Additionally, Tom and I saw a very poignant movie over the weekend (a la Netflix), Antwone Fisher. It's about an adult, after aging out of foster care, coming to terms with the abandonment by his biological family and the abuse he suffered as a foster child. It really hit home for us... oh, how I cried.
1. Kajon/Kajonae (think dijon mustard when you say their names). We are most interested in these 2, but it appears we are in a long line. As of last week when Suzanne checked, their worker hadn't read our home study yet, he had several to look at.
2. I had to reread my previous posts to know who I've mentioned. Last time I mentioned Dario and Austin, they are 10 and 11 and it took us a long time to find out more than the basic overview. So we got more info on them, but it was hard to sort through what behaviors they used to have vs. what behaviors and issues they have now after a couple years of therapy and in a stable setting. So we have a request for clarification. They did have some very serious issues, so where they are now and what is seen as potential is important here. They belong to a tribe and have a strong interest in their Native American heritage, one of them is learning Ojibwa.
3. Dario and Austin were one group of 10 and 11 year old brothers we were looking at, the other group, their adoptive parents weren't sure if they did or didn't want to continue with the planned adoption. It was decided that they are going to follow through with the adoption, so they are off the table.
4. There's another pair, Roscoe and Zipporah, that we requested more info on but we have very, very little on them right now to even know if they are an option.
Additionally, Tom and I saw a very poignant movie over the weekend (a la Netflix), Antwone Fisher. It's about an adult, after aging out of foster care, coming to terms with the abandonment by his biological family and the abuse he suffered as a foster child. It really hit home for us... oh, how I cried.
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